


Mandalay

by bitchytimemachine



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Kakavege Brotp, Softer OOC Vegeta, Uncle Vegeta, Vegeta is bad at technology, camgirl au, crack and silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23176531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchytimemachine/pseuds/bitchytimemachine
Summary: Vegeta is having a hard time at life right now. He hates his job, he is bad at technology and everyone in his family are all real assholes. The highlight of his day is when his work husband sends him memes from all over the internet. His favorites are cat memes, especially toe beans. Anything with toe beans Vegeta is HERE for. So when Goku sends him a link from a subreddit named r/nekoIRL that took his credit card information before he could view its content, Vegeta was sure that whatever he found there would be amazing content.It wasn't what he was expecting, but boy was he not wrong.
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Vegeta
Comments: 16
Kudos: 25





	Mandalay

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is about half-finished right now, I wanted to wait to start posting it until after it was completely written, but because people need a distraction right now I decided I would start posting earlier than I originally planned. I hope y'all enjoy!

Vegeta checked his watch. 4:30. He had half an hour left to the workday, then he could go home and relax for the weekend. He sat unmoving at his black desk surrounded by grey walls. On his desk was the company issued computer monitor, phone and file sorter overflowing with documents. The only thing that adorned his cubicle was the paper his employer continued to tack up to announce who belonged in the space, no matter how many times he ripped it down and tossed it in the garbage.

His eyes stared at the screen of the computer, the numbers filling the boxes in his spreadsheet all began to blur together. Vegeta’s fingers began to absentmindedly tap on the keyboard filling the cells with erroneous information. His attention was dragged away from the important work he was doing with a sharp ding and a pop-up on his company chat at the bottom of the page. The notification came from Kakarot, his moronic work friend. Maybe his best friend? He didn’t know for sure, but he knew whatever Kakarot sent him was not related to work at all. Which was perfectly fine with Vegeta. He tapped a few random numbers more into the excel document to appear to finish up some work before hovering his mouse over the notification and clicking on it. 

The chat popped up and showed a string of the twenty or so memes, links, gifs, and videos Kakarot had sent Vegeta through the day. Most of them had something to do with cats, a favorite of Vegeta that Kakarot had accidentally discovered when he sent a cute gif of a hedgehog and a cat playing. The cat, unamused, flicked the hedgehog away. Unperturbed, the hedgehog bounced back towards the angry-looking feline and tried to play more. Kakarot had labeled this gif _Our friendship in a nutshell_. Vegeta had made the mistake of replying with a laughing emoji and _Spirit animal_. Ever since Kakarot had sent cat after cat to Vegeta. 

Somehow, Kakarot had discovered how much Vegeta loved cats toe beans, and whenever Kakarot found toe beans, he would spam Vegeta with his very own blessing. It had become the one thing that would keep Vegeta sane throughout each shitty workday. Today was no exception, the chat dinging over and over. 

_GEETS!!_

OMG LOOK AT HOE CUTE

*HOS

*HOW

ITS

T

O

E

B

E

A

N

S

!!!!!!!!

o(^◇^)o

 __Vegeta rolled his eyes at his coworker’s antics but waited patiently for the image to load. A white cat with dirty looking ears popped up. The kitty was cradling his hind feet in his front paws and gently chewing on one foot. Bright pink toe beans shined out prominently against the white of the cat's fur.

That was fucking cute. No one could tell him any differently. I mean, look at him chompin’ away at his footsie!! Hims must be hungry… 

Vegeta heard footfalls and quickly closed the chat, no one else could know his secret. He needed to get back to work. No matter how cute kitty toe beans were it was time to work (and if anyone else ever found out his dark secret, there would be a body to dispose of.) He highlighted the cells he had typed in and hit backspace, but instead of deleting the few cells, somehow the entire document was deleted. Panic swept through Vegeta, all his work, his teams work, gone in a few keystrokes. 

Vegeta began to wrack his brain, he knew there was a way to recover the information but he was unsure of the right commands. With a huff, Vegeta reached behind his phone to the small file sorter he placed on his desk. Sifting through the mess of papers, Vegeta quickly found the paper he was looking for. The edges were tattered and the paper itself was slightly yellowed, but it had quickly become Vegeta’s lifeline in his position. Scrawled in childish handwriting was a list of easy troubleshooting tips. This was given to Vegeta on his third day working at the company, some six years previous, when he was struggling with navigating the operating system they were using. 

He didn’t know how he survived college. Thank fuck for the Introduction to Computers class he was forced to take his first semester, otherwise, he wasn’t sure he could function in society at all. Vegeta just didn’t fucking care for technology. It was a waste of time, he would rather be doing something than to be stuck behind a machine. And yet, here he was wasting his life in a company who cared nothing for him or the other employees there, for little over minimum wage. Oh boy, had he made it or what? He sure was glad his parents forced him to spend those four years in college to get a good job. 

He sighed, his parents were just as out of touch as he was bad at computers, they just didn’t realize the realities of the world their kids were living in. No longer was it easy to get a good-paying job, even with a college education. No longer did the amount they paid for their mortgage pay for even an ok rental in a bad area. Gone were those simpler times when honest work would get you a livable wage and honest pay. 

Vegeta had resigned himself to the reality of things when he graduated from college, bright-eyed, hopeful, and ready to take on the world. His dreams of changing said world were squashed once he signed the contract at his current job. He spent almost a year looking for work, hoping to find something in his field. He wished someone would have told him his English degree was worthless while he was pursuing it. But alas, the world let him know that real quick. He spent months hustling to get his content noticed by news outlets, blog owners or anyone really. 

Rejection after rejection wore on Vegeta, bill collectors began calling and sending letters demanding payment on his student loans, and eventually, Vegeta just took whatever he could get. Which was what landed him in the Jinin corporation as an entry-level Data Entry worker. The work was easy enough, except the damn computers hated him, and it mostly paid the bills. The years passed as if they were seconds and before he knew it he was the average jaded office worker dreaming of a better life that would never come. 

His eyes found the particular command Kakarot had scribbled down. It didn’t matter how many times he used these keyboard shortcuts, he couldn’t for the life of him remember which one did which thing. Why did CTRL matter at all? Also who the fuck was in charge of making these shortcuts up? He supposed some made sense, A was of course for all, and C for copy, but V for cut? I mean maybe it looks like scissors, but why? Vegeta held control down with his pinky and plucked the Z key, undoing the delete action, and then continued to hit the key until all the bad information was removed from the document. 

“Heya buddy! You ready to go?” Vegeta turned and saw the one person at the office he didn’t completely hate towering over him. The man was giant, standing at least two heads taller than Vegeta, though you wouldn’t be able to tell from his current posture. He leaned over onto the top of Vegeta’s cubicle wall, letting his orange tie swing to the side. A large toothy grin adorned his face, which was framed with a wild frock of hair jutting out in spikes as if the man had never seen a brush in his life. 

“Don’t call me that. And yes, I am ready, just need to restart my device.” 

The two began walking out of the office, Kakarot chatting about his day as if it mattered, colorfully decorated cubicles passed by the pair, belying the mundanity of the space. Cheer for cheerfulness sake - preposterous and childish. 

They took the elevator down and as the doors pressed themselves closed Kakarot began to speak. “So what’cha got planned for the night? Anything special?” 

“Meeting my parents and brother for dinner is all.” 

“Oh really? Tha’ sounds fun! Where y’all going?” 

“St. Martin’s.” 

“Ooh fancy!” 

“Yeah, Tarble and his wife chose it, not really my type of place.” 

“Well, we all can’t eat plain rice and chicken in our sweats every night!” 

“Tch. Just because you went and got married with kids, doesn’t mean any of that is important to the rest of us.” 

“Hee hee,” Kakarot looked at the ceiling, a smile spreading across his face, “yeah I’m one lucky dude. Chi’s ‘mazing! And an amazing cook!” 

The two parted ways after the elevator dinged and deposited them on the ground floor of their office building. Vegeta briskly walked towards the subway. Gure had set dinner at 5:30, just long enough for Vegeta to get off work and barely make it all the way uptown for the reservation. His feet pounded the pavement when he felt his phone buzz. He pulled it out and noticed a text message. 

_5:20pm_

_Tarble: Everyone else is here, where are you?_

Vegeta huffed and typed a quick response before ducking into the subway tunnel leaving the road and city sounds behind him. A subway ride that was far too long and three more texts later, Vegeta found himself walking up to the door of the opulent restaurant. 

It was an unassuming place unless you knew what you were looking for, or paid attention you may not even notice the door tucked in between an all-natural grocer and a high-end thrift shop. The door itself was average-sized, mahogany wood with a large antique window in its frame. Emblazons above the door was a simple sign, black with St. Martins written in a copper script. Vegeta fidgeted with his blue tie and buttoned his suit jacket. He wasn’t quite sure if he had worn acceptable attire for the places stringent dress code, but tugged on the door and made sure to train his face in an emotionless mask. 

Dinner had dragged by. Vegeta poked his fork at the warm kale salad left on his plate. The food was delicious, buttery and melted on his tongue, but the company had left Vegeta with little appetite. His mother had gushed over what a fine man Tarble had grown into and how lucky he was to land a woman such a Gure. Vegeta’s father sat staring at him, only lifting his scowl when he was addressed by his favored son or his bride. 

Vegeta hated them all. His mother and father never truly loving him or supporting him when he needed it, however, whenever _The Baby_ had wants they were suddenly there for Tarble. Tarble, who had grown spoiled and mean because of the graces his parents afforded him and the luck life had dropped in his lap. Tarble had went to and graduated from a prestigious architecture school in the city and met the heiress of construction and real estate mogul. He somehow won her hand and although he was horribly average bordering on incompetent, the nepotism that came with marrying into the family he had shot Tarble into the big leagues before he had gotten his feet wet. His mistakes were covered up or ignored, of course, can’t have someone as important as the son in law of Akai Budo proving to be a failure. And Vegeta’s parents, drunk on the prospect of fortune and infamy for the Ouji name just fawned over everything the boy did. 

“So Vegeta! How is the job going?” Tarble’s wide grin hid mischief as he quirked his brow to the sky. 

“It’s fine brother. What about you? Have anymore catastrophic engineering failures?” 

There was an audible gasp heard from the table and Vegeta could feel the eyes on him. He, however, stood his ground. He was here, on a Thursday night with the four people he hated most - his brother specifically leaving the only person Vegeta would want to see at home for the night - so he would get his punches in while he could. 

Tarble just laughed, the entire table, minus Gure breathing a sigh of relief. “Are you that upset we left Cabba at home Vegeta?” 

“Can you blame me? You are never around, and with the birth of Yasai, I know Gure has her hands busy. The boy is at an important point in his life and he needs the influence of a man around. Hell, he needs the influence of anyone around.” 

“I am a fine mother thank you very much!” Gure spat. Her round face practically turning purple and blue under her anger. Her black eyes bore holes into Vegeta as she huffed his way. 

“I am sure you are dear sister,” Vegeta said sweetly, “but you can’t tell me you don’t have a preference for your own bloodier your adopted son?” 

“You ass, Yasai is a baby, she needs much more attention than a teenager.” 

The waiter came and gently placed a leather billet in front of Tarble who immediately stuffed in several bills. “I’ve got dinner tonight. I know not all of us can enjoy such luxuries.” Tarble's eyes landed squarely on Vegeta and his grin spread once more. They were truly loathsome people, and Vegeta wisened nothing more than to wipe that shit-eating grin from his brother’s face for good. 

The next morning Vegeta followed the same path as always towards his cubicle. Kakarot chattered away about whatever it was he was talking about. He strode past the fake happy cubes, with the fake happy motivations and the fake happy people. He reminded himself that nothing ever changed here and he needed to either get out or resign himself to this forever. He settled himself in his chair with a sigh and readied himself for the day. His computer hummed on and he began checking his emails. It was Friday. Just 8 hours until he could leave this place and occupy his mind with literally anything else for a while. 

Lunch came and Vegeta opened his salad container and began to chomp away right at his desk. If he made his way into the common areas, those people would try to engage him, and there was nothing Vegeta wanted less than to have to pretend to give a fuck. 

He shoved a bite of lettuce in his mouth and frowned at the ding he heard emanating from his screen. Looking up he saw a notification from Kakarot. 

_Geets! I found this link while messing around on Reddit! I think you will like the content ☆⌒(*＾-°)v_

Vegeta stuffed another forkful of his food into his mouth and absentmindedly clicked the link. He knew whatever awaited him would be something he would like. Kakarot had excellent tastes in internet content. Vegeta wasn’t sure what Reddit was or what r/nekoIRL was, but he was gonna jump right in headfirst. 

A black screen greeted Vegeta. A large white circle with the word MANDALAY rimmed in blue with cat ears peeking from the top drew Vegeta in. He clicked the circle and it took him to a page with a lot of text. Ignoring the white words testing Vegeta’s patience, he scrolled all the way to the bottom and quickly clicked the big blue button that said, _I am over 18 and agree to the terms_. 

He was shocked when the page refreshed asking for his credit card information. Vegeta pushed aside the remainder of his lunch. He wasn’t sure about this site, and the fact it was asking for his credit card information was surprising, no other meme sites asked for personal information. In fact, it seemed that most of the people on the internet were intent on keeping their identities a secret. 

He clicked on the jabber link. _Kakarot, what is this site?! It’s asking for my credit card information!_

_That subreddit is ALL ABOUT CATS Geets! CATS! And that link is the most upvoted of ALL TIME! I think youll like it a lot! And there is a oneday free trial, so if ya dont like it you can just cancel!_

Ah, so whatever this is, comes highly recommended. And a free trial? So the product is something that the company really believes in enough to let people try it out before they commit. Vegeta mulled over the information. Were pictures of cats worth his hard-earned money? In the end, Vegeta decided it was worth at least a try, and with just enough time left before his lunch was over, he typed in his personal information and hit send. 

He could hear feet scurrying his way and glancing at the clock, noticed his team was about to meet for their weekly progress meeting. He closed out personal tabs and locked his machine down before making his way to the meeting. 

Walking in, Vegeta immediately noticed this was not his typical meeting. Four other teams were in the same conference room, as many people that could squeeze around the table sat in their office chairs and smugly looked upon all those people who arrived after the table was full as if to say _aww poor you, having to stand, getting to the meeting late… On the other hand, **I** was here on time so **I** get to sit at the table._ As if their posturing would get them noticed in this company. 

Vegeta noticed his boss, a man a bit taller than he was leaning against a window frame. His face was long and so flushed the man looked purple. A shiny bald head accentuated the man’s yellow freckles. At the front of the room stood a man in a poor-fitting suit with a large white mullet. He fiddled with the projector before saying in a heavy accent, “E’ry one here then?” 

When no one answered, the man continued, “righ’ then. Names Jeice Nguyen. I am a representative of Caplis Corporation. Our company has just bought this company and I will be getting to know each and every one of you to see what sorts of changes may need to take place.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a comment and let me know what you think and check me out on [Tumblr](https://ibitchytimemachine.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/Bitchytimemach1)!


End file.
